I have very fond memories of this song being on the radio in 1990.  I was a very avid radio listener at that time, and Phil Collins' smash album, "...But Seriously" produced 4 massively successful top 10 singles that year, this being one of them.  It also featured Eric Clapton on the lead guitar licks throughout the song.  Phil said in an interview that this is the closest he ever came to writing a "blues" song.

This tune has always resonated with me, but probably not for the reasons people might think.  The theme of the song is accepting the finality of a love not working out, and then going through extreme grief in that reality.  I always thought of it in a broader context that certainly included romantic love, but could also just mean anything that is important to you coming to an unhappy ending that really is unrecoverable and irreparable, even in the future.

I don't deal well with that....and I don't think I ever want to.  I'm like Captain James T. Kirk from Star Trek with the Kobayashi Maru test that Mr. Spok put him through to see how he would cope with "no win scenarios" as a starship captain.  If you're not familiar with Star Trek or this reference, essentially, it's a training drill all cadet officers have to go through where they are presented with no good options, and they ALWAYS lose their ship and their crew in the simulation.  The point is to prepare them for the reality that in space, sometimes catastrophe can't be avoided.  Kirk is the only cadet in Starfleet history to pass the test because he snuck into the admin dock of the simulator and reprogrammed the simulation before he was scheduled to be tested....he was nearly thrown out of Starfleet Academy for it, but he contended that there was no value in getting officers to resign themselves to the idea that there is no way to avoid the worst outcome, and won his disciplinary hearing.

I guess the reason this comes up as I listen to this song is that I also don't even let myself entertain that something I want is impossible.  Don't get me wrong, I've had to face the finality of some things in my life, but it was never something I did willingly in advance....it has to be forced upon me, and I actually like that about myself.  I don't take pride in being stubborn about much, but on this I absolutely do.  So, when all options are truly exhausted, all avenues truly destroyed, and such certainty exists that even I can't delude myself into believing there's a chance anymore....I too "wish it would rain down on me".  I take it hard.

But, I guess I want that....I don't want to develop the muscle that makes it easy to give up on my dreams.  I don't want to lose my belief that it's still possible even though it hasn't happened yet.  I NEVER want to feel like it's not worth continuing to prepare for and work toward.  And it's served me pretty well....many things have come my way long after most people would just give up, and often my refusal to accept that something is permanently beyond my reach inspires someone else involved to believe there's a chance as well. 

Even when I do finally hit the end of a long road and have to accept something is not available to me, my stubborn refusal to do so until it's proven beyond a reasonable doubt usually has led to an evolution in my desire that takes me in a better direction and toward a different dream that still scratches the same itch....and more.

But, that moment when you realize....this isn't gonna happen...not now, not ever, and nothing will change it....that's brutal for me, and I do feel like just sitting in the pouring rain for a while.  It's okay....soon enough I find something else to want and get back into the game of life....and besides, taking it hard when you lose a dream is just evidence of how much you cared...and is there anything more rewarding in life than caring deeply about something or someone?  I think not...it's worth the pain of a few losses to experience the full spectrum of positive emotions, from joy to excitement to contentment to hope, that comes from caring deeply.  I'll never try to drill that out of myself, and I'll never let go of the things I want easily. 

Enjoy my cover of this song from June 12, 2024, and then check out my favorite performance of it by Phil Collins himself in front of a MASSIVE audience at an outdoor venue that is unspecified. 

If you'd like to explore my piano method more deeply, my best students use my video courses and join me for conversation and twice monthly Q&A Livestreams in my private community...you can find it all HERE. Thanks.

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